2015....

So, it's been over a year since I've posted. Life.... I am currently fighting off an infection for the past three weeks. It has been a struggle. Hopefully this round of antibiotics work! I've been doing pretty well. My EF has increased to 40% from 21% when I was first diagnosed. I am working on losing 180 lbs...a whole person. I know that when I lose the weight my heart will have a better chance and it will be working less. I'm working on my doctoral degree (Ed.D) Doctor of Education, and this summer I will take the last of my courses!!! I'm so ready for this journey to end! I can't wait to have free time to do as I please! 

Just wanted to provide an update....Hope you are all well!

Hair Cut...I'm Natural!!!

With everything happening in my life, for the past couple of months I've been losing/shedding hair. I've stopped relaxing my hair with chemicals since April, but had two different textures with the new growth. I woke up on Oct. 25th 2013 and decided I needed a change. I had my sister cut off all of my hair. I want it to grow back healthy, thick and natural. It was a big decision but one that I'm glad I made. It's taking a lot to get used to, but I'm happy it's done. My love isn't happy I cut it. He's always told me not to cut my hair, even before I had the thought. But I'm sure he will love it when it's long, curly and healthy.

Life Post third surgery

It has been a long two weeks!!! I went in the hospital for one surgery and left after two emergency surgeries. After the first lead replacement, it dislodged within 30 minutes of surgery. I was placed on bed rest and hadn't even gotten out of bed and the lead had already moved from my heart. The second surgery was scheduled very early the Friday morning and Dr. replaced the lead with a heavier one and used a different technique. I followed up a week later with my Dr. and it was still in place. I had the worse pain during recovery from the incision. It was itchy and burning...ugghhhh I don't want to do this again. I'm just happy to be on the road to recovery.

I'm still so shocked (literally) that the machine saved my life. I knew there was a "chance" my heart would fail because of the severity of the weakened muscle, but I didn't think that it would actually fail!! Who would?!?!?! But God is good! I had the machine to restore normal function. When I was discharged from the hospital, my heart began to beat on it's on without having to be paced the entire time by the machine. To God be the glory! I'm grateful for my family who are so supportive throughout it all. My baby sister and cousin who are here to help me through it. I head back to the Dr. tomorrow for another follow up and hopefully clearance to return to work. Pray for the best!

Surgery Tomorrow

Soooooooooooooooo the last 24 hours has been a world wind. At my Dr. appointment yesterday, I found out that the machine attached to my heart saved my life. So grateful! Now a lead is dislodged and I have surgery scheduled tomorrow to fix the screw that's in my heart. God is Good. Hopefully the recovery is not as long and I can bounce back quickly. Glad to have some great people in my corner. Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

Lots of thinking

As my time at home winds down, I'm wondering if I'm ready to head back to work. It's just about readjusting to the way of things. Getting rest when it's needed and knowing my limitations. The good thing is, it will be two days then the weekend is here. Then the following week we only work three days and have two days off, plus the weekend. This gives me time to adjust. Time will tell!

My Australian friend Melany is here visiting. It's so awesome to have her here. We saw each other two years ago, at her wedding in Hawaii. She's taught me a lot as I developed as a person and a friend. We have been through some serous life changes together. Thousands of miles away and we're still able to maintain our friendship. Great friends are hard to come by! Fun, Fun!

Grey's Quote

Just wanted to share a quote with you! 

We're all going to die. We don't get much say over how or when, but we do get to decide how we're gonna live. So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.

-Richard-

Grey's Anatomy

Life Adjustments

Just wanted to share my VLOG about Life Adjustments with Heart Disease. 

I've also added the link. Life Adjustments

God Is Bigger than your problems!

Today has been an ehhhh kind of day. Not sure why....I couldn't sleep last night and just laid in bed. I finally fell asleep about 2:30. I woke up tired. Worst feeling ever!!! I've noticed that when I'm not going to have a great health day, my feet and legs have a "heavy" feeling. So I got up and started moving around and went straight back to bed. I just laid there. I got up and made some breakfast and was on my favorite spot on the couch. It's just one of those days.

I had interesting conversations with two friends. One has just found out her mom died of Heart Failure and the other discussed work issues. At the end of both conversations, I just contemplated the future. What are next steps in regards to my career? Do I remain in this fast paced, high stressed field? Or do I transition into another area of interest? Those are some decisions I will have to make as I take charge of my health. Tough decisions but I have time to process.

Many of the people in my support groups discuss having these types of days. I'm grateful that I have only had a few of them. Hopefully tomorrow will be better! I can't imagine the pain that others go through. There are more painful diseases out there. Pain that attacks their bodies and makes living, hell. I'm not sure how they do it, but they are troopers, survivors! Just makes me think. You always believe that your struggle is too great to overcome, but there are others who are worse off than you. Just keeps me grounded.

Saw this picture and thought it was appropriate.

It's not Mother's Day......but...

My mom through all of this has been just plain AWESOME! When I was hospitalized, she got on the plane and was at my bedside. Then a month later she was back for another two weeks. Surgery was scheduled and she's here for three weeks with me as I heal. My mom is a hard working woman. She used all her vacation time this year to care for me and nurse me back to good health. I'm grateful for my supermom. I'm happy that she's always put her children first and I didn't have to worry about being alone in my house while in recovery mode.
There are some people out there who have never experienced this unselfish love. Without asking, she dropped whatever she was doing and came to be with me. Weeks without pay, but knowing that I would need her love and care to make it through this tough time. So I just wanted to dedicate this post to her. She's the best mom her three girls can ask for. I love you ma! Thank you for your time and loving spirit.

Happy 31st Birthday to Meeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeee......

I am not a person who goes all out for my birthday. After 21, I've not really planned anything, but oh how life has changed. I'm so happy, blessed, grateful, excited (any word you can think of to express my gratitude) for seeing another year. Most people use that phrase and they don't really mean it or even grasp the idea. I fully understand and do NOT take it for granted. I'm going to enjoy it as best as I can. My mom and cousin are here and I'm still recovering from surgery but I will take it all in. Whatever that means, it means.

I think back when I had my life "planned" out in my head. I should be rich by now, kids and a husband the whole works! But that is not the case, but I have so much more to be thankful for and can't harp on the things I don't currently have. They will come. It will happen. But TODAY, is my day! It's almost like it's a rebirth, I got another chance!

So, I just wanted to say how my cup overflows with love, joy and peace.....and I'm happy to turn 31!

So Happy Birthday Sunshyne, you are a fighter, a warrior, a survivor...... remember that!

Sodium Smodium

                         The Great Sodium Debate! 

The moment I was diagnosed with heart failure, the first thing I was told to eliminate was SODIUM! :sadface: I love some salt! It makes my mango, cucumbers and food taste soooooo much better. Because of heart failure, my body retains fluid like no other. By restricting my sodium the fluid around my heart disappears, it doesn't back up into my lungs and I have ANKLES! Before sickness, I was a grateful person. But now, I'm even more aware and try not to take the simple things in life for granted. Showering, walking in the sun, the beach, late nights with friends, being able to lift things on my own. It's the small things I swear!!!

I've tried this product, No Salt and it's ok. It's an alternative but I've heard it may conflict with some medications I take. So I rarely use it. It has an aftertaste, to me. 

I've been introduced to Mrs. Dash. I don't like her, but I use the seasoning and I supplement. Fresh lemons, garlic, cook with fruit, anything I can do to enhance the flavor of my bland chicken, brown rice and veggies. I have to do so in order to live. The little things make such a huge deal with heart disease. My dear sodium, I have let you go. In order to breathe and not sound like a cow while doing so, I say goodbye.

                                                         I'm not salty though!

Weather The Storm

Yesterday my very close friend was given bad news from the Dr. Her husband suffers from a very deadly blood cancer and after a two years, it's back. He has been through so much and had a transplant last year and it's back. This disease will kill him, the dr has said. How do you process this? How do you keep the will to live? How do you stay motivated and in turn, motivate your family? My heart is so heavy for them. They've been through so much and are still going through the worse. All I can do is pray and hope God comforts her through it all. 

When I begin to think of these diseases, I can't help but think where did it all come from? Did people back in the day have this? They just didn't know? Not just cancer, heart disease, kidney and lung failure, rheumatoid arthritis, and all those autoimmune diseases where your body is attacking itself? How did this come about? My mind races, and as I read all the theories out there it makes my head race. So much to consider, too many factors to add and a lot to process. 

I saw this picture on instagram last week and just felt it to be appropriate for now. 

Whatever you are going through, just know the storm will pass!